The Battle of School

One of the things a parent of a child with Autism dreads most is School.  School brings changes in schedules, chaos to therapies, and additional frustrations that make life difficult. 

 Frog is in a unique position of being Autistic but Highly Gifted.  This leads to some pretty maddening challenges when working with the schools.  You have three areas of thought that are typically demonstrated by outside individuals

1.      Autism isn’t real- We see this response a lot in people who either don’t work with kids that have Autism or of the older generations and feel the child is being oppositional, has had poor parenting, or is just spoiled.  This is a difficult mindset to change.

2.      Autistic automatically means stupid, helpless, and unable to accomplish anything – These people piss me off.  They feel that just because someone has a diagnosis of any type, they are automatically unable to do anything.  These are the individuals that are just trying to fill the squares and only put forth them minimum required effort. 

3.      Autism, ok, what do I need to know? – These people are awesome!  They are willing to talk, to listen, and to learn how best to work with someone.  I love people like this!

 

Let me clarify something for you.  I refer to working with the school as a war.  Each time we meet, there is a battle.  I do this for a very specific reason.  I am fighting to get Frog the best education that can be provided so he can achieve his dream of MIT.  Sometimes the Teachers and I are fighting on the same side against the school district.  Sometimes I am fighting the Teachers to get Frog what he needs.  Sometimes I am fighting myself to allow the school to try something new. 

Every year the battles follow the same basic outline.  The first one happens at the end of the current school year.  We meet with the Special Needs Coordinator, any teachers that are available, the principal if they have time, and the councilor that will be assigned for the next school year.  During this meeting we outline changes to Frog’s IEP (Individual Education Plan) and get a tentative plan in place for the coming school year.  This includes accommodations Frog may need at the beginning of the school year to get him set off on the right foot. 

We then have a meeting a few weeks after school starts to find out how well the IEP is doing helping Frog in the new setting.  If there are changes that need to be made, they are made at this point and time. 

Next, if the parent is proactive, is a teachers meeting.  This way the parent can explain their goals for their student along with triggers and items that help divert or waylay meltdowns.  This meeting can make or break the school year for your student.

In addition to those primary meetings there are secondary meetings through the year, emails with teachers to confirm grades or deal with poor behavior, and help with an ever shifting schedule for a young man that has difficulty with change.  I have to say I am thankful that my boss is understanding and doesn't freak too much about my taking an hour here or there so frequently at the beginning of the school year to attempt to get things straight.   

 

These are our battles.  We will win the war.

Stay tuned over the next few weeks to hear about how the start of our first year of Middle School went and where we are now.